Waiting for today...: Found & Lost...

Monday, February 17

Found & Lost...

May 23rd, 2011… Four years earlier I considered myself “godless”.  I had put my faith in Jesus Christ the Messiah near the age of twelve.   Or so I thought.   Years later I found that I had actually put my faith in people and by then, it was too late.  To my spirits disadvantage, my faith grew immensely until it failed. Because when people let me down I walked away from everything that had sustained me up to that point in my life including the Messiah. These events unfolded over the span of a few years. And in time, I learned to put my faith in myself.
“Show Me Thy Faith…” When I finally came into my own I found that I was also at the lowest point in my life.  I was away from friends and family and I felt alone.  I needed something to hold onto to keep from losing myself completely to the harshness of this world.  Bad decisions soon followed.  I abused myself, allowed myself to be used and my relationships suffered.   The faith that I had proudly put in myself failed as well.  And in a moment in which I could’ve lost everything, I cried out to a God that I wasn't sure existed. Desperate  Broken.
“Peace, Be Still...” Peace shook me from my sleep after I prayed that evening.  In the midst of an actual thunderstorm, a sure foundation truth was brought to my remembrance: my faith in Jesus Christ never once failed me.  People fail… Self fails… God does not.  And while my curtains flew about frantically, and drops of rain spattered on my window sill; while the thunder rolled and the lightning cracked, I realized that I was never truly alone.  Although I had given up on Jesus and fled from His presence, He never gave up on me or left me destitute.  So I was back… to square one.  And I didn't even know where that was.
“Planted on Good Ground...”  I had come to know Jesus Christ through my relationship with other believers.  Yet, it was not until the Word of God was rightly divided for me on May 23rd 2011 that I realized that I didn't know enough to save my soul.  On that day, I heard the truth for the first time in all the years that I believed.  I came to believe for the first time, on that day, that Jesus Christ is all that He declares to be. After I confessed that Jesus is the Christ, I submitted to a water baptism and when I arose I knew I was different.  All the years of being a believer brought me to Christ but now I knew that I had been saved by Christ and I finally felt empowered to live…--December 16th, 2012
That is of course up until the summer of 2013.  That June, the congregation I joined myself to after I obeyed the gospel found itself divided.  The division was the result of the elders’ decision to release our full-time preacher. Perhaps a more accurate statement would be that it was the way in which he was released that turned half of the congregation away.  No matter the reason, I was stuck in the middle of the tug of war that ensued between sides.  I felt as though no one considered the spiritual fragility of the new converts or any other member that may have been weak in the faith at the time.  Still a babe in Christ, for me the result was a shaken faith.  There I was thinking I finally found hope to overcome the struggles that plagued me over the years of my adult life.  Instead I was forced to realize that I would have to suffer yet another spiritual setback.