Waiting for today...: "But Those Who Trust..."

Monday, March 24

"But Those Who Trust..."

Ben Franklin bridge and Camden Waterfront from Penn's Landing in Philadelphia Pa...

In the face of unnecessary criticism, I will either shut down in defeat or lash out in anger. Both responses harm the psyche and damages all chances of having a healthy relationship. While this weekend was about the women building relationships, there was criticism, staring me down and trying to persuade me once again that my way was the wrong way.  All eyes on me, my lack of confidence naturally attempted to appease our guests.  Though I allowed myself to feel the pressure, to be flustered and to show my instability in effort to stave off defeat and anger.  Shame on them! I’m tired of hiding.  A sister stood up for me and reminded our guests, in so many words, that it was my time therefore I had a right to use my discretion.  I was disappointed once again by those that claim Christ but, unlike times past, I was not drained of my faith in Christ.  I was instead reminded that, just like Christ, there are those that indeed seek the righteousness of God rather than their own.  Instead of losing hope, by them I ought to be encouraged to do the same.

As a child, I remember being fascinated by everything around me.  I took to drawing early, trying to capture those things.  My earliest remembrance of this fascination is from elementary school.  Instead of paying attention in class, I went about trying to recreate a design I saw on a hand-woven bag.  My creativity has waxed and waned since then.  As I grew up and became aware of cameras, my interest shifted from drawings to photos.  It never evolved beyond pointing and shooting however.  And just as I lost my passion for drawing and “less than amateur” photography, I lose my desire to write from time to time.  I am almost certain it is related to my instability.  So on days like this, when I’m speechless and lacking or time simply eludes me, I’ll share instead one of my photos in hopes to somehow keep my diminished creative flow from dying altogether.