Waiting for today...: C.H.A.O.S.

Sunday, April 13


Wood carving by Peter Toth at Mt. Trashmore Park in Virginia Beach Virginia...

Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome: one of the more problematic trademarks of my depression.  When my home is in disarray, I cannot function in my best capacity.  After awhile, if I remain unorganized, I can barely function at all which usually triggers an abbreviated bout of depression.  Around and around I go.  In my best capacity, I am able to prioritize tasks while maintaining a healthy balance of work, rest, recreation and other interests.  To date, I am only finding balance in work and rest.  Not until my space is in “array” can I liberally pursue recreation and hobbies.  It’s been a month since the depression lifted and I still haven’t made it past the bathroom and the kitchen.  While that is better than nothing, I’m getting a little antsy.  

As a child, I remember being fascinated by everything around me.  I took to drawing early, trying to capture those things.  My earliest remembrance of this fascination is from elementary school.  Instead of paying attention in class, I went about trying to recreate a design I saw on a hand-woven bag.  My creativity has waxed and waned since then.  As I grew up and became aware of cameras, my interest shifted from drawings to photos.  It never evolved beyond pointing and shooting however.  And just as I lost my passion for drawing and “less than amateur” photography, I lose my desire to write from time to time.  I am almost certain it is related to my instability.  So on days like this, when I’m speechless and lacking or time simply eludes me, I’ll share instead one of my photos in hopes to somehow keep my diminished creative flow from dying altogether.