Waiting for today...: Finally, I See

Sunday, November 23

Finally, I See

I saw a man the other  morning standing on the corner seemingly waiting for traffic to slow that he may cross the street.  This man appeared to be talking.  Talking with his lips and with his hands, no one present with him.  I couldn't tell if he was on a blue tooth.  Or if his bulky dreadlocks were hiding ear buds and he was simply lost in his favorite song.
In the few seconds that it took me to notice him, before having to make that right hand turn on the way to work, I realized that I saw him through different eyes.
As a young child, I would've stared at him.  Tugged on the coat of my adult and pointed.  I would have been curious but at the same time afraid.  As an older child, I would've laughed at him, teased him and called him "crazy".  My friends and I would've made a spectacle as we jeered.  As a young adult, I believe I would have sympathized with him.  But my sympathy would be nothing more than fleeting.  And as the setting changed my sympathy would to turn, into indifference.
Today, I see through different eyes.  Through the eyes of one who suffers an inner turmoil that seeps through to the surface for all to witness and misconceive.  Of one that wrestles daily with those powers which seek only to tear down and destroy. Through honest eyes.  With curiosity and humaneness.  Through the eyes of one who hopes to someday be a voice for the voiceless. Courage for the faint of heart.  Can you see?

Mood disorders are no better or worse than personality disorders.  Eating disorders, no better or worse than anxiety disorders.  While we all suffer differently our suffering still consists of hopelessness, stigma, fear, emotional and physical pain among others.  We are the many faces of mental illness.  It doesn't take much to conceive.  You just have to be willing to "see" through different eyes.