Waiting for today...: April 2016

"Research has shown that such people are overrepresented among cases of fals...

"Research has shown that such people are overrepresented among cases of false confession because the conditions of their illness - such as proneness t... - Nyawela Gianna - Google+

Friday, April 8

Then & Now...


image original found at Montereyplazahotel.com, also available at istockphoto.com

In my early 20’s, before going off to college, I would take a a few Saturdays per month to pamper myself.  I would style my hair having washed it the night before and letting it air dry overnight.  I would take a nice long bubble bath, exfoliate, shave, give myself a mani-pedi.  I would take hours: writing in my journal by candlelight, music playing… usually classic r&b or neo-soul  I remember it being a huge stress-reliever, making me feel better about myself and helping me to forget about feeling as if almost everyone in my tiny world was constantly against me.  

These days I can barely shower.  I average about twice per week.  Birdbaths have become the norm.  Shaving? Ha!  I’ve only recently started paying for manicures because of to feel more feminine.  Was only getting the every 8 to 12 week trim but now I’m seeing my hairstylist about once per month ‘cause sometimes that's the only time my hair gets washed. My $60 massage membership barely gets used.  I believe I’m up to five sessions to my credit so far.  That’s five months.  And I just cancelled a 1 ½ hour appointment last week ‘cause I just didn’t have the energy to get dressed.

Saturday, April 2

Feeling… Suspended




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“... I've vowed in moments like these I would remain silent. To make any other choice would also be to choose to once again pressure myself to be someone I can’t.” For more about me outside of my struggle with mental illness, visit me here on Google Plus…”