Waiting for today...: Take Luck

Monday, October 3

Take Luck

This year has brought a few surprises so far: I passed my certification exam, finally moved back to discharge planning at work, down to one letter sized file box of paperwork and I’m less apologetic about not forcing protracted relationships that have probably run their course.  Another shocker?  My motivation to put that self-care regimen into practice.  

Unfortunately it takes me a while to “wrap my head” around certain things before taking any course of action.  Reason being?  I don’t want to waste my time, I don’t want to waste my energy and I don’t want to… fail.  It’s the part of my personality I call “paralyzing precisionism”.  

noun  pre·ci·sion \pri-ˈsi-zhən\
: the quality of being precise : exactness or accuracy

In other words: I’m anal retentive.  In many other words: I get so consumed with doing things the right way, I get myself worked up into a fear of failure which leads to a lengthy procrastination.  This is bound to pull me into negative thinking.  Next stop, no doubt, is mood swing.  *Le sigh*   

But I finally decided a few months ago that mindfulness would be my starting place.   It’s the simplest thing I can do for my heart and mental health.  I found some awesome flashcards to motivate me and keep boredom at bay.  But I’m always reminded of the benefits of diet and exercise on mental health.  Diet, exercise, diet, exercise.  Oy!  They’ve always been the bane of my existence.  I finally settled on taking a 10 minute walk most days per week.  That seemed easy!   Except I haven’t taken a 10 minute walk in weeks.  Months!  If exercising involves more getting ready beyond a warm up chances are I'm not doing it.  I have a similar problem with diet.  

I can’t be bothered with all the steps: shopping, prepping, cooking, cleaning.  Not mention boredom with leftovers.  And the more complex, i.e. the more pots I have to use, the more pots I have to clean… HA!  I’ve always paid for convenience.  Which is why I consider myself a take-out queen, occasionally pay to have my clothes laundered and do much of my wardrobe shopping online.  On my wishlist this year: a treadmill and a crock-pot.  If I set up a treadmill in front of the TV, I can get my 10 minutes and then some!  With multiple training programs I can really make ‘em count too.  And although grocery shopping will still be a pain in the arse, one pot to cook and one pot to clean may just make up for that.  With so many simple recipes, I can actually have homemade, nutrient dense meals more often without a lot of guessing.

I feel ashamed not being able to take on a diet and exercise regimen comparable to others my age.  I know people who prep healthy meals each week and drink nearly a gallon of water each day.  Leg day and arm day at the gym is a thing.  Thirty day ab challenges.  I envy those people.  I envy those women.  They look amazing and I'm sure they feel that way too.  But I just can’t.  I’m not built that way.  But I’ve gotta do something.  Right?  

One step at a time...

Title is a play on the phrases “take care” and “good luck” from Brian Regan Live by Brian Regan

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2016 Waiting for today...