Waiting for today...: November 2016

"In plain English, stress early in life makes us more vulnerable to stress la...

"In plain English, stress early in life makes us more vulnerable to stress later in life. The evidence for this can be seen in multiple physiological an... - Nyawela Gianna - Google+

Saturday, November 26

Sunday the 13th: #hernialife


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My general doc says…
my issue is more constipation than hernia though.  She suggested I get sources of fiber other than Metamucil like cereals & beans, only using metamucil as a true supplement when I haven't gotten the daily recommended amount.

Thanks to the above…
my 7 day vaca turned into a 4 day minus $300.  When I finally got to Palm Beach Shores I had a great time: mani/pedi, seaweed wrap, massage, bike ride, Spanish red beans & rice, zzz’s on the beach.  

Then it was back…
to work.  Last week was pretty great.  All eight hour shifts.  This week?  Blah.  Started with a twelve hour shift and it’s been shit since.  Starting to feel burnout.  At least I hope it’s just burnout (see above *sigh*).

I’ve told myself before…
one of my days off needs to be spent outside my apartment.  The movies, library, bookstore, coffee shop.  Something!  Getting tired, literally, of laying around at home.  Now that I've got some of priorities together: writing schedule, diet/exercise/rest plan, etc., it's something I need to fit into self care.

And finally...
I have one statement and one question regarding the 2016 Presidential Election: Trump Nation. Why are you surprised America?

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2016 Waiting for today...

Sunday, November 6

Article: The Five Communication Styles



In revisiting the issues that plagued my mother and I’s relationship before leaving home, I got to thinking more deeply about the importance of good communication in all relationships…

I remember writing a paper in community college about the communication loop.  I can’t remember how that topic was chosen in the first place but it was very interesting.  I found the sender and his message most interesting.  In doing research for that paper, nominal really, I learned how important it is for the sender to prepare (content) and package (tone, body language) their message before sending it.  Leave something important out, include something trivial, send it with the wrong attitude, in the wrong manner, even at the wrong time and the consequences could be destructive.

I often say a person gets only one opportunity to “stick the landing” in conversation; one chance to make it count.  When those conversations are also disagreements, it's our emotions that end up formulating and sending many of our messages unfortunately. Original intents are lost, core issues aren't addressed and our needs aren’t met.   I know this first hand.  ‘Cause I’ve always had difficulty communicating and fear often drove it.  

Always an extreme of not saying anything out of fear to the other of near rage from not having said anything, I never got the desired response.  And of course!  How could I if the receiver never understood my intent?  What was my intent?  Did I know in either extreme? I didn’t know it then but I was screaming out for help even in my silence.  So in the same vein, I’ve learned that recognizing my needs apart from being able to communicate them is equally important.   

Don’t get me wrong.  I am in no way absolving mature individuals of the responsibility to know how to identify the needs of a dependent.  But I could’ve avoided years of frustration, resentment and bitterness if I had this understanding much sooner than my thirties.  It’s why it has become a top priority for me in my personal life.  Even more so in my professional life.

Because I am a highly sensitive person on top of having mood disorder, it’s so easy for me to become consumed with emotion during exciting conversations.  So I’ve adopted a strategy: take a step back, mute the noise, look at facts, identify the issue and by all means keep it center.  And should the receiver get carried away in emotion, the only thing left to do is bow out of the conversation.  At minimum, my livelihood depends on it.

The following article suggests several communication styles and their characteristics, including those of its user.  Knowing how to identify these styles will not only help the sender to improve their own communication skills but will also help them to avoid the emotional pitfalls that some styles can create.

“Learning to identify the different communication styles - and recognising which one we use most often in our daily interactions with friends, family and colleagues - is essential if we want to develop effective, assertive communication skills… Being assertive means respecting yourself and other people.  It is the ability to clearly express your thoughts and feelings through open, honest and direct communication.”

con’t reading “The Five Communication Styles” by Claire Newton. Retrieved November 4th, 2015 from http://www.clairenewton.co.za/my-articles/the-five-communication-styles.html

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